Common App 공통 에세이 두번째 주제입니다.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
(실패는 성공의 어머니! 본인이 과거에 어려움을 겪거나 난관에 부딪혔을 때를 생각해보세요. 이 경험이 본인에게 어떠한 영향을 주었고 무엇을 배웠나요?)아래는 2번 주제로 쓰였던 에세이를 IGE 대학컨설팅에서 첨삭을 위해 사용하였습니다. 출처 : https://www.studential.com/us/applying-to-college/common-app-guide/common-app-essay/examples/essay-04
1) 단어 제한인 650 단어의 절반 가량 되기 때문에 함축적으로 써낼 수 있다면 상관이 없습니다. 단, 대부분 점수와 몇 가지 글만 보고 결정 짓는 입학 사정관의 입장에서 부족할 것 입니다.
2)While not everything in life is within our control, that doesn’t mean we should let those things hold us back from success.첫 문장에서 학생의 생각을 요약하여 밝히고 있어서 이어질 내용의 색깔을 드러낼 수 있습니다.
I have never been particularly adept at math, but always managed to do well enough with a little extra effort. That is, until I signed up for trigonometry.3) I managed to keep a grasp on the lessons for the first few weeks, but my understanding of the topic slowly ebbed away as the semester wore on.문제점을 느낀 직후에, 대응하기 위해 어떤 노력을 했는지 전혀 나타나있지 않습니다.
When it came time to take the midterm before winter break, I barely passed, despite hours of studying. I was floored. 4) But after an uplifting pep talk from my dad, I realized I needed to do something differently.아버님이 어떤 내용을 말하셨길래 그런 결심이 섰는지, 아버지가 어떤 조언을 주셨는지 등 구체적인 내용이 나타나있지 않습니다.
I couldn’t control what I had to learn, but I could control how I learned it.
Before heading back to school following winter break, I mapped out a game plan to do better during the second half of the year. 5) My first step was to line up a tutor.“내가" 어떤 실패를 겪었고 “내가" 어떻게 극복했는지를 전적으로 보여주어야 합니다. 3자는 최대한 개입시키지 않아야 합니다.
Clearly, my teacher’s method of teaching did not work for me, so I hoped that an alternative explanation of the formulas would be easier to understand. 6) Next, I double-checked my homework before submitting it with an online program that gives step-by-step explanations.진부하게 느껴질 수 있습니다. 조금은 튀어 보이는게 표현하는 것이 모든 사람과 같아 보이는 것 보단 훨씬 낫습니다. 또한, 구체적이어야 합니다.
예를 들어, 위 글처럼 단순히 검토했다 에서 끝나기보단, “유튜브에서 ~ 과목 관련 풀이 영상을 업로드 하시는 유튜버 ~~의 ~~ 플레이리스트를 ~ 몇 번 정주행 하면서 풀이 과정에 대한 이해도를 높였다”라고 하는게 좋습니다.
Any time I answered something incorrectly, I could understand what I did wrong and try again. The final and most important step I took was to talk with my teacher. I explained to her the trouble I was having despite my attempts at studying. 7) She was happy to offer extra help after school, and gave me extra prep questions before tests.구체적 이어야 합니다. 구체적이어야 읽는 사람이 장면을 그릴 수 있겠죠. 좋은 방법으로는, 몇 번, 몇 개, 몇 명, 그리고 금액 등 숫자나 데이터를 수 차례 언급할 수 있습니다.
Getting through trig took much more effort than I’d ever put into any other class before. But my determination paid off: by the end of the year, I earned a B+. 8) While I can’t say that the success turned me into a total math lover, it has made me appreciate the value of a subject that has never been easy for me.이처럼 배운 점을 설명할 수 있다면, 실패했으면 실패한대로 잘 나타내 주었습니다.
It didn’t come without some extra effort, but I now feel confident that I can excel at practically anything with a good plan and a lot of hard work.
While not everything in life is within our control, that doesn’t mean we should let those things hold us back from success. Mathematics has never been an issue. Homework and memories of theories seemed enough, that is until I reached trigonometry. Like with many others, I was introduced to a whole new concept. At first, I had confidence. I managed assessments and absorbing the material seemed doable. However, as the semester continued, I could feel that the process was slowing. Time spent on each question increased. Mistakes happened more often. Fearing I’d lose interest and confidence in the subject, I simply increased the time spent reviewing the material. For many, it’d do the trick. For me, it didn’t. The stress only seemed to accumulate proportionately to the added time.
Exam weeks became dreadful. I felt floored, which my father noticed. Hearing about my worries, he advised, “Every growth story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change.” I pondered on the meaning. Soon, I came to realize that what I thought was an effort to ‘change’ was in fact only an ‘extension’ of a method that was no longer viable. The winter break was a crucial period for me to map plans for the following semester. A plan for change.
There were several things that I initiated. I befriended Youtubers who were talented in teaching. The Channels Eddie Woo and Don’t Memories became the closest peers in my journey. I cycled through their trigonometry playlists over three times, which definitely gave me a better understanding of the concepts. It was especially useful that streaming allows viewers to pause and resume. I listened, solved questions, then watched solutions explained with pauses in between. Another ‘change’ began at the local stationery. I picked up a Cornell style notebook. On the left, I copied questions that I got wrong. On the right, I corrected mistakes and solved them all over again. On the bottom, I wrote down theories or formulas that were relevant to the question. This allowed me to notably reduce the frequency of mistakes, as I was able to diagnose which parts of the chapter I was especially weak. Most importantly, I asked my teacher for help. Twice a week, I would pass by her office after school to receive thirty new practice problems and ask questions.
Getting through trig took much more effort than I’d ever put into any other class before. But my determination paid off: by the end of the year, I earned a B+. While I can’t say that the success turned me into a total math lover, it has made me appreciate the value of a subject that may have become something I hate. It didn’t come without some extra effort, but I now feel confident that I can excel at practically anything with a good plan and an appropriate ‘change’.